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AndyH

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
6,388
Location
San Antonio
http://www.avweb.com/eletter/archives/avflash/1915-full.html#204703
Here's one I heard just a week or so ago from the non-fed tower at my home base, Johnson County Executive Airport (KOJC) in Olathe, Kansas (a suburb of Kansas City):

Tower: "Cessna 1234, you are clear to land runway 18."

Cessna: "Clear to land 18 — and thanks for the help today."

Tower: "You bet. We do good work when we're awake!"
Click to expand...

http://www.avweb.com/eletter/archives/avflash/1925.html
We were approaching ORD from the east years ago in a B-727, which was famous for being able to descend very steeply, as long as it was not speed-restricted. ORD approach was changing from an east landing configuration to west, meaning that the airplanes over Lake Michigan were all going to end up high because of the change in plans.

ORD Controller (to a 727 ahead of us) :
"If I give you STORY intersection at 11,000 feet, can you make it down from there?"

727 Pilot:
"Yes, but we'll have to start down right now."

Controller:
"O.K., start down now; cross STORY at 11,000. Oh, and I need you to do that at 250 knots."

727 Pilot:
"Hey, we can't come down and slow down at the same time."

Controller (unsure who was giving him a hard time, since the 727 pilot hadn't used his callsign) :
"Who said that?"

727 Pilot:
"Uh, I think it was Newton."

Controller (laughing) :
"I guess I deserved that. O.K., which aircraft is anticipating an energy management problem?"

Several of us jumped in and said, "We are!" all at the same time. As a former physics major, this one really cracked me up. One usually thinks of a comeback line like that on the drive home, instead of instantly as this fellow did.
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Those are good for a laugh! Thanks for posting.

I live in semi-dread that some of my less-than-famous transmissions are going to wind up making one of those lists. :twisted:

Coffee? Check!
Quick-turn from last nights shift? Check!
Pain-in-managements'-side? Check!
Break over? Check!
Put me in, Coach, I'm ready to play!!!!

:lol:
 
I love these things.

Youtube has a bunch of them. Love the JFK controllers..
Who's on first?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BMDkwfkXv0


Private pilot.
 
Jimmydreams said:
I live in semi-dread that some of my less-than-famous transmissions are going to wind up making one of those lists. :twisted:
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Roj! I'd like to permanently retract a few of mine as well - both broadcast and interphone...

Andy

USAF Ret
Private SEL
 
I hope this thread dies quickly; it's out of place here. I was an Air Traffic controller at O'HARE, LAX, and 8 other airports in my 36yr ATC career. Most of these "stories" here are pretty lame. I could tell you some true ones that would make you weak-kneed when you board an aircraft-----but not here. :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
 
derkraut said:
I hope this thread dies quickly; it's out of place here. I was an Air Traffic controller at O'HARE, LAX, and 8 other airports in my 36yr ATC career. Most of these "stories" here are pretty lame. I could tell you some true ones that would make you weak-kneed when you board an aircraft-----but not here. :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
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Please don't. I come here to smile, not to be scared out of ever flying again. :)
 
derkraut said:
I hope this thread dies quickly; it's out of place here. I was an Air Traffic controller at O'HARE, LAX, and 8 other airports in my 36yr ATC career. Most of these "stories" here are pretty lame. I could tell you some true ones that would make you weak-kneed when you board an aircraft-----but not here. :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
Click to expand...

How is this thread out of place when it's in the "off-topic" forum? Seems pretty off-topic to me.
 

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